I have been writing this post in my mind for over a week, contemplating how to summarize into one nice and neat blog post my thoughts and reactions to our trip in the Dominican Republic. I have had about seven different angles on how to capture what I am thinking and feeling. And yet today I realized that there is no quick summarization, no sweet words to make all feel good, there is no one thought.
Instead, there are many thoughts and one huge realization, nothing that we saw, encountered, felt is nice and easy, nor can it be summed up in a short few words. Instead it is messy, emotional, uncomfortable, and honestly something most (including myself) would sometimes rather ignore and just hear the sweet caption instead of the raw truth.
When I was twelve (like I have mentioned many times) I went to Brazil with Focus on the Family on a two week mission’s trip. One night during our gathering time, Susie Shellenberger, one of the main leaders from Focus on the Family, talked to us about being comfortable in our faith. She gave the example of a person who has made their life completely comfortable. Like a person who is snuggled on the couch without a care in the world, munching on a snack, watching a favorite TV show. Just outside their window terrible things are happening, but this person is completely oblivious and even more, does not want to know what is going on outside. This scenario is much like our lives, we sit on our cozy couch of life unwilling to see what is going on around us and while we feel good about where we are, this is not even close to where God calls us to be. God calls us to be off the couch, to be aware, to be active, to be his hands and feet, and let’s be honest, sitting on the couch does not often push us to do these things.
After that message, I knew that I did not want to live me life on the couch. Over the years, I have often asked myself, “have I slipped back onto the couch, or am I living a life where I am in touch with God’s heart?” Yes, there have been times, even seasons where I have let myself forgot, to become desensitized to the world around me and content to sit on my couch. Yet, this is not where God has called me, where he has called you.
I get it though, sometimes we feel like our lives on our own couch are so complicated, painful, all consuming, how could we even think about moving off and exposing ourselves to the storm that is raging outside our window, the storm inside is all we feel we can take. I have been there, I get it. My life is far from perfect, though much about my upbringing was great, there was also a lot that would make your stomach turn. Yep, life is not easy. Its scary to get off the couch, yet when we do something amazing happens. We are no longer living life for ourselves but for our Creator who can handle the crap in our life and still chooses to use us…. Crazy….
Being in the Dominican Republic pushed me again, and though I want to summarize in cute, nice, un-shocking ways, that is not the truth and it is not living my life off the couch. Yup, it is messy. Yes, it pushes me out of my comfort zone. But there is not other place I would rather be.
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